Friday Funnies

Happy Friday! I love funny pictures, funny jokes, anything that makes me smile and/or laugh. So, I thought I'd share some of my favorite tame ones. ;-)   Enjoy!





I love this one, it always makes me smile. I love German Shepherds <3

Yes, you can cook!

I've heard a lot of people say that they can't cook. They say this is why they eat out or order take out all the time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy going out to eat and I've got my share of Papa's points and Chinese menus. But I cook a lot too. You don't have to be a gourmet chef to make a decent meal for your family. You don't have to spend hours slaving away in the kitchen to put something yummy on the table. But, if you don't know your way around a kitchen it can be hard to know where to start. So, I'm going to help you. Here's a meal that is very easy to put together, but tastes great.

Roasted BBQ Chicken

You need:

1 whole chicken
1 bottle of your preferred BBQ sauce (Kraft's Brown Sugar is really good if you need a suggestion)

Preheat your oven to 350. Then you need to clean the chicken. Relax, it's not hard! Run it under cold water, reach inside and pull out the neck and whatever innards have been left behind, rinse the inside, cut off the little tail piece and you're done. Place the chicken in a baking dish and pour the bottle of BBQ sauce over it. Yes, the entire bottle! When no more sauce will come out of the bottle, fill the bottle 1/4 full of water. Shake the bottle vigorously. Pour the now BBQ flavored water into the baking dish around the chicken. Pop it in the oven and bake for about an hour and a half. (You should invest in a meat thermometer) Chicken is done when the internal temperature (meaning you jab the thermometer into the bird so that it is not touching bone, some people say measure the breast, some say the thigh) reaches a minimum of 165 degrees (I shoot for 170 to be sure). Enjoy!


Baked Sweet Potatoes

You need:

An appropriate number of sweet potatoes (meaning one for each person)
Butter
Cinnamon
Brown Sugar

Thoroughly wash sweet potatoes. If you'd like you can stab a few holes in each one with a fork. I don't know if it actually helps the cooking process, but it's a good stress reliever anyway. Wrap each potato in aluminum foil and place on a cookie sheet or in a baking dish. Pop them into the oven with the chicken. Bake them for roughly half an hour or until they feel soft. Remove the pan from the oven (use an oven mitt!) and very carefully unwrap a potato. Slice it open. Place a tablespoon of butter, a sprinkle of cinnamon and a teaspoon (or 2 if you like it sweet) of brown sugar inside. Rewrap the potato. Repeat for each potato. Place the tray back in the oven for an additional 10 minutes or until completely done.

Broccoli

You need:

A bag of frozen broccoli
Water
Salt
Pepper
Butter

Boil the water in a pot large enough to contain the broccoli. Add the broccoli. Sprinkle with salt and pepper and add a tablespoon of butter. Cook until broccoli is tender. Voila!


And there you have dinner! If you want to get fancy and add a bread in there, go buy some Sister Schubert's Yeast Rolls and follow the package instructions. They're very good. And there you have a yummy, and very easy meal! Oh, you want dessert too? No problem!

Easiest Chocolate Pie Ever

You need:

1 pre-made graham cracker pie crust (the kind you can find in any baking aisle)
1 package of instant chocolate pudding (Jello's sugar free chocolate pudding is yummy)

Prepare pudding according to box directions. Pour into the pie crust. Chill in the fridge until it's set (firm). If you want to get wild and crazy you can squirt some whipped cream on top before you serve it.


And now you have made a delicious meal, complete with dessert, and you didn't need a culinary degree to do so!

Jeff Dunham

If you have never heard of Jeff Dunham, you don't know what you're missing. Here's a sample.

*Warning For Parents: You may not find this suitable for your children.*

That's right, Jeff is a ventriloquist. And he's hilarious. He's so good at what he does that you almost forget those puppets are not actual living creatures. His cast of puppets is diverse and includes Walter, Peanut, Achmed, Jalapeno On A Stick, Melvin and more.

You know that cranky old man that stands on his front porch shaking his fist and yelling "You darn kids!"? That's Walter. He's crotchety, sarcastic and will leave you laughing every time.

Peanut resembles the offspring of an abominable snowman and a macaw,  but don't let the cuteness fool you. This guy is funny!

And then there's Achmed... Achmed is probably the most controversial character in Jeff's cast. You see, his full name is Achmed The Dead Terrorist. Some people are offended by this. Some people have said it's offensive to Middle Easterners and Muslims, promotes violence, hatred etc. Now, if you know me or you've followed my blog before now, you know that I am in fact a Muslim woman married to an Arab man. And you know what? We love Achmed! We choose to look at him as just a funny character. We're not terrorists, we don't think it paints all Muslims and Arabs as terrorists, so no, we're not offended.



Jeff and company never fail to make me laugh, but obviously his style of comedy is not for everyone. If you're easily shocked or offended, it's probably best to avoid Jeff and his characters. But, if those clips made you giggle, Jeff has a new special on Comedy Central tonight at 9:00.   :-)

Hell's Kitchen; And The Winner Is...

*Spoiler Alert!* Well sort of. Most people know the winner already, but my sister and her boyfriend are a week behind. So, AMANDA AND JORDAN do not read any further! K?





For everyone else...






So, my prediction was half wrong. It was Will and Paul in the finale but Paul was the winner. So, congrats Paul! I wish you the best of luck in your new venture. I have to admit, seeing Paul get so emotional when he talked about his late mother made me a little teary eyed.

As for Elise...all I'm going to say is thank goodness she was eliminated! And yeah, I laughed when the very last thing they showed was Chef Ramsay telling her to stop being such a b****.  ;-)

Never A Dull Moment

Life with kids is interesting. Sometimes you're laughing outrageously, sometimes your crying, and sometimes you're contemplating bashing your head against a wall. But, it's never boring. My kids never fail to make me smile and laugh or just make my heart melt.

Today I was teasing my 4 year old who sometimes has this spontaneous deep southern accent and asking him if he was southern or Egyptian. He says to me "I'm ****. I'm the good child!" No idea where he got that from but it made me laugh. Later on, someone, who shall remain nameless to avoid any potential embarassment, had the need to relieve some built up pressure from the posterior area. Ok, someone farted. My three year old says "Mommy who farted? It wasn't me, cause I didn't smell it!" Ah the logic of a child. 

As I'm typing this from my couch, my baby girl suddenly peeks her little head around the laptop and says "Hi!" with the biggest smile on her face. Which of course made this proud Mama smile too. Then her Daddy was teasing her by shoving a chocolate chip cookie in his mouth and not sharing it with her. She retaliated by smacking him on the nose. Yeah yeah, not encouragable behavior but I giggled anyway. He should know better than to keep chocolate away from my daughter. ;-)

And through the laughter, smiles and tears, they make me proud too. My four year old saw another little boy when we were at the play area and said to me "Mommy, maybe that little boy wants to play. You're supposed to be nice and play with other kids." My three year old has difficulty with social situations and over stimulation. Which means, he has frequent uncontrollable meltdowns when we're out. But not today. Today we made it through an entire Walmart trip without even a whimper. And the baby is growing and learning so fast. She's a smart cookie and the sweetest baby. What Mama wouldn't be proud of these three?

Hell's Kitchen Finale

Dear Chef Ramsay,

Please please please for the love of cheese do not pick Elise! Thanks!

Signed
Me

Seriously,  I am hoping and praying Elise does not make the finale. She is immature,  deceitful and too darn arrogant.  Being cocky isn't always a bad thing but this chick isn't nearly as good as she thinks she is. I'm wondering if she's possibly been kept around just for the drama.

I don't think Tommy is mature enough to handle being a head chef either. He's a laid back guy, but I think he's a little too laid back for the job.

So that leaves Paul and Will. They're both talented chefs but I think Will might have the advantage.  He seems a little gutsier which he would need to run a kitchen.  I can picture him taking control of a kitchen. Paul, I have my doubts about. I'm not sure he's quite ready to be a leader. I'm having a harder time picturing him barking out orders. 

So, I'm predicting Will for the win. The finale starts tonight at 8 Eastern so we'll see if I'm right.

The Icky Sickies

So, I've been MIA this week as you might have noticed. It's been a bit of a rough week around here. I've had three sick kiddos and one sick me. Luckily my older two kids are feeling much better. They're back to constantly fighting and bouncing all over the place. The baby has been pretty darn miserable. She's been so congested she hasn't been able to nurse or sleep well. But, she finally cleared up enough to get some rest last night and get her tummy full and she's perked up quite a bit today.

It's so hard to have sick kids, especially ones that are too young to understand what being sick means or why they feel so yucky. Mommies are supposed to make it all better and it's heart breaking to have this little face pleading with you to make it better when there's not much you can do. The baby has also decided that boogie suckers (otherwise known as bulb suction) might very well be spawned from Hell itself.

It's hard to take care of kids (sick or not) when you yourself are feeling like poo. But, Mommies don't get sick days of course. So, I'm self medicating with gallons of Egyptian tea which I swear has healing abilities. And in the meantime, I've got some good friends, Sprout, Disney Jr, Nick Jr, Mario on the Wii and a couple shelves full of books to help us get through. And I'm not ashamed to use them! ;-)

Better Than Candy Apples

It's soon to be Fall and that means it's apple season! Here's a great and easy (no cooking required!) recipe for a snack your kids will love.

You need:

• 1 large apple
• Peanut butter (or an alternative if you are a no PB family)
• Raisins
• 1 small granola bar, crushed OR 1/2 cup loose granola

Slice the apple in two. Using a small knife and a scooping motion, remove the core from each half. This should leave you with a shallow canal in the middle of each apple. Fill this canal with peanut butter. Spread peanut butter over the rest of the top of the apple. Place raisins along the apple canal. Sprinkle granola on either side of the raisins. Serve!

Cheeseburger Pockets

Here's a quick and very easy recipe for a quick lunch or finger foods for the game.

Ingredients

• 1 lb ground beef (or turkey)
• 2 cans refrigerated crescent rolls
• Cheese (your preference)
• Salt
• Pepper

Brown the ground beef/turkey and season with salt and pepper. You can also add some diced onion if you'd like. Once the meat is cooked, drain and set aside. Open the crescent rolls and unroll each one, flattening it out. Add about 2 tablespoons of the meat to the middle of each one then top with your choice of cheese. if you are using slices, use about a quarter of the slice or more if you prefer it extra cheesy. Fold in the sides of the roll so that it makes a little pocket around the meat and cheese. Bake at 375 until the rolls are golden. Serve and enjoy!

Refreshing The Home

Sometimes it's nice to change things in the house. One new piece of furniture or a new rug can give a room an entirely different look. And it's easier and less expensive than moving when you need a change. I've been thinking about doing some changing in my own home and I thought I'd share some of the things I'm thinking about.

My living room is just that, a LIVING room. That means we spend a lot of time in here and of course my kids want their toys close by. Plus we have books, movies, photo albums, framed pictures, candles and various other bits and pieces that need a place to go. Of course I want something attractive as well as practical. So, I'm looking at some bookcases. I need something with shelves and some doors would be nice as well. Here are some black bookcases with doors that I'm looking at.

My bedroom set is from Egypt and it's beautiful. But, the only dresser is very small. There are two of us and my husband has just as many clothes as I do so we need more drawer space. So, I've been looking at  gentleman's chest furniture . I think some of them go really well with my bedroom set.

And then there's the boys' room. My boys are young and they still want to share a room. But, they each have their own tastes so trying to decorate their room can be a bit of a challenge. They won't agree on one character, sport or theme so I try to keep it somewhat neutral but still incorporate some of the things they each like. I found this really cute lots of dots rug that I think will work really well.

Now I just have to convince my husband...

The Facebook Cancer Status Game

A couple years ago there was a status going around that consisted of seemingly random colors. Turns out it was bra colors and it was supposed to raise awareness for breast cancer. This year's statuses consist of "I am ___ weeks and I'm craving _____." leading the reader to believe the poster is pregnant. But no, it's another 'secret' game that's again supposed to raise awareness. I don't get it. The bra color, ok, that makes some sense. After all, bras belong on breasts. But this new one...it just doesn't make sense to me.

In my opinion it would be far more effective just to say 'Hey ladies, do your breast check!" In fact, my current status is;

 "Instead of playing this years breast cancer game I'm just going to say CHECK YOUR BREASTS! I feel that's more effective than some cryptic status. So, CHECK YOUR BOOBIES! See, now there's no confusion and no one thinks I'm pregnant again. Saying CHECK YOUR TATAS! makes more sense. In closing, CHECK YOUR HOOTERS!"

Makes more sense don't you think? I'm failing to see how making people think you're pregnant is going to raise their awareness of breast cancer. I get it, some people find it funny and think it's a fun thing to do. Okay, but it's not really raising cancer awareness is it? It's especially ineffective if people don't receive the memo that explains what it's really about.

And what's with this "Don't tell the boys!" rule? First of all, men can get breast cancer too! You can read about it here: http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/BreastCancerinMen/DetailedGuide/breast-cancer-in-men-what-is-breast-cancer-in-men . Second of all, most men are married, dating or otherwise attached to at least one female. And some of those men are actually concerned about said females' health. On several occasions my husband has said "Hey sweetheart, do you check your boobs? Because you should."

There are some cancer patients and survivors who are actually offended by this 'game'. I read something recently in which a woman said its upsetting enough to be going through the hell that is cancer, the treatments that leave her sick and weak, losing her hair, the never ending medication. But then she sees people making it into a game and she's offended and more upset by it.

If you want to raise awareness for this horrible cancer, try just posting "Hey ladies, you should be doing your breast exams!' or maybe "Did you know about 1 in 8 women in America will be diagnosed with invasive breast cancer? Check your breasts!" or "Breast Cancer is the second most commonly diagnosed cancer in women and death rates are higher than that of any other cancer. Do your breast exams ladies." Those kinds of things make more sense.

If you want to do more, here are some links:

Breastcancer.org

https://secure3.convio.net/bco/site/Donation2?df_id=2140&2140.donation=form1&JServSessionIdr004=0jojzbrma2.app332a

National Breast Cancer Foundation

http://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

Susan G. Komen

http://ww5.komen.org/

The Breast Cancer Society Inc.

http://www.breastcancersociety.org/getinvolved/makeadonation/ 

Flooding

Hey guys could you do me a favor and keep the east coast in your thoughts and prayers?  We're getting hit hard and the situation in a lot of areas is really bad. They've had to shut down Woodrow Wilson Bridge in the DC area, there are a lot of roads under water. In PA,  Hershey Park is under water, people are being evacuated from Lancaster and other areas, roads are closed, schools are closed and homes and businesses are just gone. And it's still raining and raining hard. I'm not sure about aid for the flood victims yet but as soon as I find out I will post the info here.

Nursing in Public

As a nursing mother this subject is particularly important to me so I thought I'd share my views. I am a huge breast feeding advocate and it both saddens and sickens me how taboo breast feeding is in America. It just doesn't make sense to me. Breasts were made to feed babies, it's the most natural thing in the world. Yet  people are "grossed out" "weirded out" and otherwise negative about the whole concept. WHY???

Well, for one thing, America over sexes everything. Breasts are no longer seen as baby feeders so much as sex toys. I get it, they are an object of attraction, people love them. But, that is not their sole or even main purpose. Their main purpose is to nourish a baby. I don't understand parents who say they don't want their child seeing a baby nurse or they ask how are they supposed to explain it to their kid. What's so wrong with seeing a baby eat? What's so hard about explaining to your child that the mother is feeding her baby in the way they were intended to be fed? Maybe if someone had explained it to those parents they wouldn't have such an issue with it now.

There are women in this country who are harassed every day because they are trying to feed their baby. That's really sad. Women are frequently told to go nurse in the bathroom. That's really gross. Would YOU want to eat in the same room where people poop? Of course not, so why expect a baby to do so? People say they don't mind it as long as the woman is using a cover. And some Moms use a cover, or try to. But some choose not to and for some it just doesn't work. It gets hot under there, the baby can't see their Mom and they're just all around uncomfortable so they refuse to nurse. They scream, cry and fight and you're left with an unhappy, hungry baby, a frustrated mother and a room full of people staring at the crying baby.  

Personally, I don't use a cover. But, I am discreet. I simply wear a cami under a regular shirt. The top shirt goes up, the cami pulls down and voila. Discreet nursing without a cover.  Unless you're staring a hole through my chest or happen to glance over as the baby shifts or pulls off for a second, chances are you wouldn't even know what I was doing. Which brings me to another point. Is it really so hard to avert your eyes if nursing makes you uncomfortable?

I've been lucky. In the 29 (combined) months that I have breast fed so far, I've gotten too many dirty looks to count, but there's only been 1 person who was obnoxious about it. We happened to be in a restaurant and the baby was hungry. So, I fed him. A woman at the table next to ours glanced over as I was getting him latched on and nearly had a stroke. All of a sudden I hear this very loud voice exclaiming "That's disgusting! Look at that! Why is she doing that here?" I look over to see her nudging her husband frantically. As I'm giving her my best "May I help you?/Go to some place very hot and stay there" look, her husband glances over, sees that I'm feeding my son discreetly, turns back to his wife and tells her to shut up. I had to laugh but she wasn't amused.

I traveled to Egypt via Air France/Paris while nursing my son. And NO ONE batted an eye when I nursed him. Why? Because it's natural and ordinary in other countries. There's no taboo, it's simply a mother feeding her child. Quite frankly people in Egypt would have thought it odd if I hadn't nursed. To them, it's much stranger to feed a baby formula. Here is an example of how important and admired breast feeding is in other countries. One day while we were out shopping my son wanted to nurse.  My mother-in-law asked the shop keeper if there was a place I could sit to nurse him. The shop keeper promptly shooed everyone else out of the shop so *I* wouldn't feel uncomfortable and brought her own stool for me to sit on. How awesome is that?

*I should add a disclaimer here that I have nothing against people who use formula. I am perfectly aware that there are reasons some people can't or choose not to breast feed. It might surprise you to know that my oldest was on formula. He had a milk/protein intolerance among other issues and had to be put on hypoallergenic formula.

A Special Girl Named Demi

This beautiful little girl is Demi and she just turned 6. Unfortunately, Demi spent her sixth birthday in McMaster's Children's Hospital in Ontario. You see, Demi has recently been diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. This is the most common form of cancer in children and occurs when a bone marrow cell develops DNA errors. These errors allow the cell to continue growing and dividing whereas a healthy cell would normally die. The bone marrow then begins producing immature cells which develop into leukemic white blood cells. These cells are called lymphoblasts and they do not function properly. A build up of lymphoblasts will leave no room for healthy cells.

Demi has been given an 80% chance of survival and she has a long hard road ahead of her. She is facing aggressive chemo treatments, blood transfusions and more painful procedures that a child should never have to endure. She will lose her hair, possibly develop diabetes and become very ill. She will need to be on several expensive medications for a long time and will require long term monitoring.

Demi's family is staying close to her side and doing everything possible to help her fight this battle with leukemia. In the photo above, Demi's grandmother is reading her special birthday wishes from the Facebook group Prayers For Demi. This group was set up to ask everyone to please pray for Demi and keep her and her family in your thoughts and prayers as they fight this Leukemia.

There is also a fundraising group set up for Demi. Planned fundraisers include bracelet sales, a slow pitch tournament and more. The bracelets will be orange and will say "I Wear Orange For Demi" and the cost is $5. They will be available around September 19. Sunsay Studios will be doing fundraising photoshoots with proceeds going to Demi. The cost will be $50 and ALL proceeds will be going to Demi. Visit www.sunsaystudios.com .

You can also visit http://www.debmcgregor.scentsy.ca to purchase Sasha the Charitable Bear. Proceeds from the purchase of Sasha are given to the Ronald McDonald House which is assisting Demi and her family. You may have the bear shipped to you, or arrange to have it shipped to Ms. McGregor who will then take the bears to the Ronald McDonald House to give to the children. There is also a fundraiser for Demi set up on Ms. McGregor's website.

I will keep you updated  on Demi's condition as well as any new fundraisers.

You may also visit http://www.facebook.com/groups/251573331542312/#!/groups/251573331542312/  to join Prayers For Demi.

You will find the fundraising group here: http://www.facebook.com/groups/184236658314941/ 

We're praying for you Demi!