Men always say they don't understand women. Men think women are complicated, dramatic, confusing, the list goes on. And, we can be. Yes, I just admitted it. But, we're not all like that and not all the time. I'm about to give you fellas some advice that will make your lives easier and make your wife/girlfriend/fiance/current fling happy. So, grab a pen, an ipad, something and listen up!
*Note: If you're with a woman who ONLY appreciates expensive dinners, jewelry, yappy little pocket puppies and any and all things fancy and costly, I can't help you. This pizza eating, football watching, big goofy mutt loving woman doesn't understand them either.
Make Her Happy
First, and most importantly, you need to know your girl. Pay attention when she tells you what she likes or dislikes. If she's not very vocal about her preferences, watch her for cues. Is there a color she wears more than others? A particular show or type of show she likes to watch? Does she reach for coffee, tea or soda for a caffeine fix? Does she have candles, lotions, body sprays in a particular scent? What makes her smile? Believe me, this will benefit you in many ways. Yeah, this sounds like common sense but think about it, have you ever been searching for a gift and have no idea what to get her? Ever tried to rent a movie but didn't have a clue which one she would like? Could you stop for take-out and know exactly what to get her? What about her Starbucks order? See? Knowing what she likes comes in handy.
So, now that you think you know what she likes, what can you do with that info that will benefit both of you? Think about it this way, the nicer you are to her, the nicer she should be to you and the happier she is, the happier she'll make you. Before you start seeing dollar signs, let me say that it isn't all about money and how much you spend on her. Sure, you can take her out for a fancy dinner but a reasonable woman (and I say reasonable because well some people just aren't) will appreciate the little things. Surprise her with her favorite candy bar for no reason. If she mentions being tired, pick up her favorite latte. Buy her that new book by her favorite author.
No cash or time to run out? That's ok, there are plenty of other things you can do to make her happy!
- Make her dinner at home. Even if it's a grilled cheese, she'll appreciate the effort.
- Give her some time to relax and space for herself. She will especially appreciate this one if you have kids because Moms don't always get 'me time'.
- Run a bubble bath for her and light a candle or two. Sure, it seems like something out of a chick flick but most women really do like it.
- Clean something without her asking you to. Yeah I know, not the most fun thing for you but she'll appreciate having one less thing to do. Believe me, there's something sexy about a man who's willing to wash dishes, fold laundry or sweep the floor so his girl doesn't have to.
- Back rubs are awesome.
- Let her pick the movie or tv show without complaining. I know, I know this one might be tough. I feel your pain, I don't like the chick flicks a lot of women are crazy about either. But give it a try every now and then.
- Clean up after yourself. Not that we don't just adore taking care of you, but not having to pick up your dirty q-tips would be wonderful too.
Make Her Feel Good
And I don't just mean physically. Make her feel attractive! Look, it's hard to be a woman. There's a lot of pressure to be thinner, prettier, younger looking, to have perkier assets and less cellulite, and to otherwise mimic this barbie doll image of beauty. Is it realistic? No,but it exists nonetheless which can make it hard for a woman to feel good about herself. Compliment her. Tell her she's beautiful and not just when you're getting frisky. If you're only telling her she's pretty in the bedroom, or when you're trying to get her there, it can make her think you're only saying it to get the goodies.
Make her feel intelligent. Listen when she talks, even if you don't agree with what she's saying. This ties in closely with making her feel like she's being heard. Speaking of being heard, there's this little thing that women like to do sometimes that men often dread. It's called venting. There's a quote that goes something like "Women don't sweat, fart, or burp so we have to b*tch or we'll explode". It's not entirely accurate but it's close on the last part. Sometimes we just need to let out some frustration. That doesn't mean we want or need you to fix it, after all there's not much you can do about that jerk faced twit who keeps making snide remarks about those five pounds of baby weight we haven't lost yet. We just need you to listen.
And when she goes through the trouble of making you dinner, setting up a romantic evening or getting all dolled up for you, show some appreciation. No, that meatloaf might not be just like your mama made it, but compliment her effort anyway.
I feel like this one is important enough to deserve its own category. There's nothing that can shred a woman's confidence faster than another woman. Look, we're not stupid, it's human nature to look at other people. But that doesn't mean we want to see your eyes popping out of your head as your jaw hits the floor when that 22 year old lingerie model wannabe saunters by. How would you feel if we went all gaga and started drooling over that Johnny Depp look alike at the next table?
When your lady love tells you that another woman is making a play for you, believe her. Why? Because we ARE women and we know the tricks. Unless your girl is one of those...umm...people who tries to throw down with the 85 year old grandmother for smiling at you when you held the door open for her. In that case...yeah...the word 'run' comes to mind. Seriously, even if you don't think she's right, hear her out. If you thought another guy was making a move, wouldn't you want her to listen to your concerns?
Above all, if you don't listen to another word I've said, make her feel loved and respected. That truly goes a long way.
I know some guys will think this is all too much but it really just comes down to treating her with love and respect. Isn't that how you would like to be treated as well? And if you're a guy who read this and just thought "Well, duh" then good for you!
If the things I've said do not work for you and your female companion doesn't appreciate any of it, refer her to my upcoming post entitled "This One Is For The Girls".